Living A Life Of Purpose.

What is purpose?

•      Purpose is the very reason you exist. Purpose can be said to be the utmost goal of our life, which directs our life. Purpose can be said to be the reason why we are here on earth.

•      As a great Indian philosopher wrote ;

•      "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."

How Do Find Your Purpose?   

•      Millions of people have asked the question. Why am I here?

•      Is purpose God given or not? There are a lot of people today who are confused and worried about how to find their purpose in life. A number of people who are religious are seeking to hear from God about what their purpose is. The issue is that hearing God in another ball game entirely. Are they able to hear God? Someone has funnily said ‘if you talk to God, it is called prayer, if God speaks to you, it is called schizophrenia! I wonder how many people actually hear God in clear consciousness without being labelled mentally ill!  Some other line of argument goes that purpose is not actually God-given because God is not rigid. Purpose, they claim is the result of the sum total of our lifetime experiences. Some believe that we can actually choose our own purpose just as they believe that your destiny is in your hands. They argue that God has placed us here and whatever purpose we make of it is up to us. What do you believe?

•      Recall the concept of self & SWOT analysis.

•      The concept of the self:  The phrase ‘know thyself’ has been used extensively in the ancient world. It is reported that one of the writings in ancient Egypt said "Man, know thyself ... and thou shalt know the gods." The saying was also credited to Socrates, one of the characters of Plato. Whatever the case, one of the ways to get to know our purpose in life is to get to have a good understanding of the self. Who really are you?

•      Social Self

•      Relationships with female friends

•      Relationships with male friends

•      School/social group membership

•      Popularity in &out of school

•      Social Aspiration

           Your social self is the sum total of your social interactions. The influence or otherwise that you command in your social circle can point you in the direction of your purpose. Are you one that usually has people flocking around you? Do you keep many friends or are you an hermit? Are you popular in school or among your social circle? Do people trust your opinion?

•      Familial Self

•      Roles as daughter, sister, son, brother.

•      Sense of belonging in family.

•      Familial expectations and aspirations

•      Balance of future career and family.

•      Sexual self:  The sexual self is better understood by looking at the following areas,

•      Sexual orientation.

•      Sexual values.

•      Sexual feelings

•      Sexual aspirations

•      Sexual experiences

            There is an example of one popular self-acclaimed sex expert  (sexpert) who has gone on to establish himself as a consultant on sex matter to individuals, associations and even government agencies. Although he is a graduate of accounting, the story goes that he was struggling with masturbation and could not find help from even his counsellors in church. When he eventually found succour to his guilt through self-help, and knowing that many others are going through what he went through without being able to get help, he now provides help to others in their sexual-related issues and struggles. He was able to find his purpose through his own experience.

There is also the story of a pastor and his wife who were both virgins on their wedding night. And because the man had quite an experience fighting temptations as a single and he was able to overcome, he turned that into his purpose, which is to help singles stay chaste before marriage.

•      Academic Self

•      Student Achievements

•      School/social group membership

•      Educational Aspirations

•      Career Aspirations.

This is one area that people find it easy to identify with. Most people commit their lives to their academic and professional training and the careers that go along with that. But in order to distinguish yourself and have something that you will be eager to wake up to do every morning, you might have to spend more time to look at you peculiar areas of brilliance to get that purpose that will make you stand out from the crowd. In his book, Gifted Hands, Ben Carson found out during one of his numerous postings that he has peculiar spatial abilities as a surgeon. This stood him in good stead to go on to become a neurosurgeon despite his childhood interest in Psychology as exemplified by his love for the magazine Psychology Today.  

•      Community Self

•      Group/club membership

•      Volunteer experience and aspirations

•      Activist experience& aspirations

•      Employment experience & Aspiration.

Don’t just go through school or life like a spectator. Participate in as many things as your ability and schedules can accommodate. Membership of clubs and associations in school can help you discover some hidden ability and attributes that you didn’t know that you possess.

An invaluable way of getting insight and clarity about what you are in this side of eternity for is through volunteering. What is that thing that you are so passionate about that you are willing to render your service for free for? Volunteering may help you to conceptualize you raw ideas into something formidable by getting hands-on mentoring.

Do you see your employment experiences as just means to put food on the table? Are you just going through the motions just to make ends meet? You may be wasting invaluable opportunity of getting to make your life meaningful if you are just taking jobs and employment for the money and not for what values and meanings the jobs adds to your life. Some have gone on to enter into a life of rest in terms of purpose by just recognising the jobs they have held that gave more meaning to their lives.

•      Creative self

•      Creative talents or interests

•      Involvement in hobbies or activities

•      Creative aspirations

•      Creative talents as careers.

What talents or interests do you have that is effortless with you? What will you rather do than any other thing? What comes naturally to you? What creative talents do you have? Imagine someone that got purpose from her love for interior decoration. She found out from there that her purpose in life is to add beauty to people’s lives. This insight has made her turn her love for beauty into interior decoration business and then turn her interior decoration business into an opportunity to minister encouragement to the lives of her clients to make their lives beautiful. It is not just a business to her; it is a way of fulfilling purpose.

•      Physical Self

•      Appearance

•      Involvement in Athletics/Games

•      Sense of Comfort in body

•      Disability status

There are myriads of examples of athletes who have turned their lives around from mediocrity to heroism just by taking advantage of their physical self. Many have come from poverty to stupendous wealth. Many have become the face of hope for thousands of youths all over the world.

Terry Fox was 18 when he was diagnosed with cancer, and lost one leg to it by amputation. In 1980 he started to run across Canada, in his Marathon of Hope to support cancer research. He wrote in his letter seeking support, "I will be ready to achieve something that for me was once only a distant dream reserved for the world of miracles - to run across Canada to raise money for the fight against cancer. We need your help. The people in cancer clinics all over the world need people who believe in miracles".

Terry Fox has become an inspiration to us all. His legacy lives on through the Terry Fox Foundation, the millions of people who participate in Terry Fox Runs around the world, and the generous donors who have to date raised over $400 million dollars for cancer research.

How do you discover your strength/talents?

•      Strength

–     What are you really good at?

–     What skills do other people recognise in you?

–     What do you get recognized or rewarded for?

–     What about yourself? What are you proud of or satisfied with?

–     What experiences, resources or connections do you have access to that others don’t?

•      Don’t just limit yourself to work skills, think of all the experiences you’ve had and the opportunities you’ve had to grow and develop. These include your education, aptitudes, personality factors& interests.

•      Exercise; List your talents and select the one you can make money with.

•      Weaknesses

–     What do you try to do that you just can’t seem to master?

–     What do you do only because you have to only to satisfy job requirements?

–     Are there one or two of your personality traits that hold you back?

–     What do other people most often identify as a weakness for you?

–     Where are you vulnerable?

Where do you lack experience, resources or connections where other people have them?

•      Unlike in strength, don’t feel compelled to list all your weaknesses. List only those that can have an impact on your career and overall satisfaction.

•      Opportunities:

•      Here you turn your attention on the outside and identify elements that you can build on or take advantage of that will improve your chances of success.

•      In what ways can you maximize you strength?

•      What opportunities are available to those who do these things well?

•      What will you love to do that you are good at?

•      How will you maximize your weakness? If your weakness no longer holds you back, what could you do?

•      Where do you see the most potential growth for yourself?

•      What trends are having impact on what you are doing now or what you may want to do?

•      Practice! Practice!! Practice!!!

It has been said that success in 1% talent and 99% perspiration. Whatever you believe your purpose is, you need to practice a great deal in order to make a success out of it. You may have to learn from a mentor, you may have to volunteer for sometimes in order to get hands-on experience or to make everything clearer for you. You may even have to get a coach? Do whatever it takes to get your purpose off the ground.

Discover your brilliance

•      Expand your territory

•      Expand your experience

•      Expand your relationships

•      Expand your mind.

The power of ‘no’.

•      Your weaknesses

•      Your bad habits

•      Distractions

Just as knowing your purpose and know what to do to make it get off the ground is important, so also is knowing how to say no to your demons. Here I mean you weaknesses, bad habits and distractions. These things are great dream spoilers and destiny destroyers.

Whatever your bad habits and weaknesses are, you have to say no to them constantly in order to have them release their hold over you. It has been said that what you give attention to expands. Make sure that you don’t dwell on your weaknesses and bad habits but find activities that help you to focus more on your strength and good habits and you will see your weaknesses and bad habits losing their hold on you.

Distractions can come in various forms. Sometimes it could come in the form of the discouraging comments of people that you have respect for, but who unfortunately have not caught the insight you have concerning your purpose. Some are genuinely concerned about you and may believe that you are wasting time as you go in pursuit of purpose. You have to believe in yourself and be focused!

Other ways of finding your purpose;

                               I.            Give yourself a specific period of time to think about what your life purpose

                             II.            Contemplate your death.

                          III.            What are your most important values?

                          IV.            What are you good at?

                            V.            What do you enjoy?

                          VI.            What influence and effect would you like to have on the world?

                       VII.            Who do you admire?

                     VIII.            If you want to be remembered, how ‘crazy’ are you willing to be?

Three key points

                   I.            Align your purpose with your natural ability

                 II.            Be determined

              III.            Maintain a humble attitude.

“Life is short, focus from this day towards making a difference”.

Our purpose must be in motion and add value to ourselves, others and the world. 

By Kingsley Okonoda
www.doctorokonoda.com.
Kingsley Okonoda aka @mayorking is a Psychiatrist, Trainer, Life Coach, Social Entrepreneur, Public Speaker, Transformational Teacher. He is the CEO of Netwealth Consult; your ideal productive partners in Lifestyle Consulting, Training, Wealth Creation, Personal Development, Peak Performance, Travels and Tours, Events Management.